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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129895">Various Storms and Saints</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishonenrockmysocks/pseuds/bishonenrockmysocks'>bishonenrockmysocks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Entrapta continues to dispense good life advice, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Obtuse discussion about Horde Prime, Religious Discussion, Soft Intimate Moments, Vulnerable Hordak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:27:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishonenrockmysocks/pseuds/bishonenrockmysocks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With nearly thirty years of work stymied by forces well and truly beyond his control, what’s a homesick spacebat to do? How do you reconcile a lifetime of searching and worship with the reality that your Prime has abandoned you? How do you find meaning in a cold and uncaring universe devoid of designated purpose or a grand design?</p>
<p>--<br/>What if Entrapta had left to warn Hordak about the portal before Catra had arrived and, thus, successfully cancelled the project?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Surprise! Unexpected AU time! This one’s a bit more tongue-in-cheek than my usual affair and a great deal lighter in tone, but it can’t <em>all</em> be angst and sadness every time. ;]</p><p>I wrote this over a couple days while sick with a sinus cold, so there’s a decent chance this is a bit rougher than my usual work. The actual idea for this popped up a month or two ago and has been sitting, fully outlined, in a “random ideas+AUs” document ever since on the off chance I’d feel the desire to ever actually write it. Idk what it was about catching up on other people's fanfic while snotting everywhere that gave me the drive, but eh, I'm not going to question it.</p><p>Title lifted from the song by Florence+the Machine. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You are right. That is not good.” Scorpia said in a shocked daze. “Is that gonna happen? I mean, to the actual planet?”</p><p>“This is just an illustration. What will actually happen will be much worse,” Entrapta replied grimmly. She looked up at the warnings plastered across her screens. “If my numbers are right, and they are, if we open a portal, the anomalies will be catastrophic. It’ll unhinge time and space, creating a warped reality that will collapse in on itself, erasing us from existence.” She glanced down at her hands and then back up at her friend. “I never thought I’d say this but we can’t go through with it.”</p><p>“So...what do we do?”</p><p>“I need to talk to Hordak- I know he’ll understand.”</p><p>“You really think he’ll stop the project?”</p><p>Entrapta nodded, hopping off her seat of hair and moving towards the door.</p><p>“There’s no point in doing it if everyone ends up dead, right?”</p><p>“I definitely like being alive.” Scorpia agreed, following Entrapta out into the hallway.</p><p>“Ooohh,” Entrapta palmed her face in dismay. “He’s going to be so disappointed.”</p><p>“Yeeah,” Scorpia rubbed the back of her head sympathetically. “Good luck.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Leaving Scorpia behind, Entrapta started briskly down the hall. Catra and one of her new friends from the Crimson Waste rounded the corner ahead of her a moment later and Entrapta raised a hand to wave hello as she passed.</p><p>“Hi Catra.”</p><p>“Hi,” she grumbled back, going several steps further before pulling up suddenly and doubling back. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?”</p><p>Entrapta paused and turned, looking quizzical.</p><p>“Hordak’s lab. Where else?”</p><p>“Oh. Uh…okay.”</p><p>She pointed a thumb over her shoulder. “Sorry Catra, I’m kind of in a hurry. Let’s chat later.”</p><p>“Uh...yeah, sure.”</p><p>Leaving the confused feline standing there, Entrapta hopped into a vent that would easily shave off several minutes of travel time to the sanctum as, behind her, she could hear Scorpia and Emily rushing up to greet Catra.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Entrapta had never seen the Fright Zone in such a restless limbo of tense inactivity before. Nerves were still strung pretty high after the Rebellion had infiltrated two days ago and rumors of Shadow Weaver’s involvement had only intensified things, turning nervousness into sheer paranoia that had everyone jumping at shadows. Paradoxically, absolutely nothing had happened since. The Rebellion had come, they’d retrieved Adora and the sword of power, and then they’d left without causing a fuss.</p><p>Catra had tried to stir a ruckus, of course, urging anyone who would listen to strike while the iron was hot, but once Commander Cobalt and several of the other Force Captains had not so gently reminded her her authority and position as Hordak’s second had been forfeited when she’d been exiled to the Crimson Wastes, she’d had no choice but to slink away in humiliation. Entrapta hadn’t seen her or her new companions since then, although she couldn’t really say she’d been paying them much mind; her focus was entirely elsewhere.</p><p>Hordak had taken the news pretty hard.</p><p>She’d shown him the data and, for several long minutes, he’d scrolled through her numbers and simulation repeatedly, looking for mistakes that weren’t there and alternatives that wouldn’t appear, before calmly passing the tablet back to her with a soft “Oh.” She’d expected him to rage and scream and maybe throw something, but instead he’d simply walked over to the sword of power, wrenched it out of its position, and handed it to Entrapta before leaving.</p><p>She’d wanted to go after him, of course, but Adora needed to be released and then the princesses had arrived soon after and they’d needed talking down as well. Thankfully, Adora had been oddly helpful in that regard. </p><p>By the time she’d chased them all away and the sanctum was empty once more, Imp had returned and was checking on Hordak for her. The temptation to barge into Hordak’s private chambers and try to talk to him herself had been strong and the minutes had dragged on tortuously slowly before Imp reappeared, a small tablet of his own in hand.</p><p>Hordak was unwell, he’d typed out to her, and in need of some alone time. Indeed, he’d spent the rest of that day in seclusion, responding to no one but Imp, and most of the following day as well. She’d watched in morbid curiosity that evening as it had taken the combined force of Cobalt and Grizzlor nagging at Hordak’s door and Imp chattering loudly at him beyond it before the miniature clone had returned to them with the news that Hordak had agreed to come out the following day.</p><p>True to his word, Hordak had appeared that morning, clean and presentable, and sat in his throne as was expected of him, and quietly listened to one complaint after another, which was perhaps a little bit less expected. </p><p>Imp at her side, Entrapta watched from the rafters in awe as the various denizens of the Fright Zone were met with Hordak’s increasingly listless and disinterested attitude and, one by one, realized maybe their issue wasn’t so important that it couldn’t wait. By lunch time, the only person willing to approach Hordak was an obviously frustrated Cobalt and by dinner, even he’d given up, storming away and muttering to himself. Imp had followed, returning a short while later to repeat a rather unusually colorful rant about grown men acting like over emotional teenagers, occasionally punctuated by a snicker from Octavia or an agreeing interjection from Grizzlor.</p><p>No one had come into the throne room since Cobalt had gotten fed up and it was growing late, even for them, yet Hordak showed no signs of getting up or returning to his sanctum any time soon. </p><p>She nudged the yawning clone next to her.</p><p>“I think I’ve got an idea, so I’m gonna go talk to him. Why don’t you go get some rest? I’ll make sure he gets back to your guys’ room.”</p><p>Imp smacked his lips a few times and shrugged, stretching his wings out and gliding away towards the sanctum.</p><p>Entrapta dropped down from her vantage point, landing near the base of the stairway leading to Hordak’s dais. As she climbed the steps, the only indication Hordak was even remotely aware of her presence was the soft glow of his red eyes flicking lazily in her direction before returning to their downcast squint.</p><p>He was currently slumped in his throne, so low his neck sat at a near ninety degree angle and his legs hung so far off the edge you could hardly even say he was sitting in the oversized chair so much as <em> laying </em>in it. It was the most expert manspread she’d ever seen and it was hard not to laugh at the ridiculous display.</p><p>Entrapta crossed her arms and arched a brow at him, cracking a slight smile despite herself.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Hordak didn’t respond.</p><p>“You alright?”</p><p>She lightly bumped the edge of his booted knee with her own knee and tilted her head at a backwards angle. </p><p>“Come on. I wanna show you something that I think you’ll like.”</p><p>Hordak frowned a bit and looked away from her in one of the most blatant pouts she’d ever seen. Whatever was bothering him was clearly worse than she thought because the stubborn man she knew would <em> never </em> let himself be caught <em>pouting</em>.</p><p>Her face hurt from the sheer effort of not letting her friendly smile widen into a full blown grin.</p><p>“You know I’m not leaving until you come with me, right?”</p><p>Hordak wrinkled his stubby nose but still didn’t reply.</p><p>“Also,” she continued, waving a hand at him. “that can’t possibly be comfortable.”</p><p>He growled softly and straightened up, struggling and- yes, there it was, the stiffness and, oooh, she bet his neck and lower back were probably killing him right now- grunting as he shifted. She gave him a moment to readjust before stretching a pigtail out to gently tug at his hand.</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p>Hordak scowled at his hand for a long moment but stood anyway.</p><p>“And <em> where </em>are we going, exactly?”</p><p>“It’s a surprise!” She clapped her hands excitedly and popped up onto her hair. “And a bit of a walk. But I swear it’ll be worth it!”</p><p>He growled softly at her and she shot him an annoyed look of her own, hands going to her hips.</p><p>“Oh, come oooon, what’s the big deal? It’s just a walk!” </p><p>“And what if I do not wish to go on a <em> walk </em>?” he ground out through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Just <em> trust </em>me.” She shrugged widely at him, floating several steps backwards on her hair. She half turned and smiled invitingly, gesturing for him to follow. “Have I ever led you wrong before?”</p><p>Hordak shifted uncomfortably, ears tilting ever so slightly downwards and going a bit pink at their tips.</p><p>“Fine,” he responded, digging hard into the ‘f’ in a way that almost seemed to cost him something.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, full disclosure, I’m agnostic and was raised in a mostly secular household. I’m personally pretty critical of how religion is practiced but I still see its value and respect people’s worship-related choices. Having said that, and considering a few past experiences, there is the potential that some of my own personal views being reflected in here may come across as offensive to individuals who are more sensitive towards religious criticism. Sorry!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tadaaa!” Entrapta said as she opened the door, flourishing her arms and hair while she twirled through and made room for Hordak. “We’re here!”</p><p>“...the roof.”</p><p>“Psh, not just ‘the’ roof, silly, the <em> tallest </em>roof in the whole Fright Zone!”</p><p>Hordak blinked slowly at her.</p><p>“Okay, okay,” she waved her hands in a placating gesture. “I know it’s not as amazing as an ionizing ray or a particle accelerator, but it’s got a really nice view.”</p><p>Entrapta ignored Hordak’s annoyed hum and half-ran to the edge, hands coming down on the railing that ringed the perimeter of the landing. She dropped herself to the floor, scootching forward so her legs dangled off the end, and looked behind her at the man still standing in the doorway.</p><p>Oh what, oh what, was she going to do with this grumpy partner of hers? </p><p>She smiled at him and patted the ground next to her.</p><p>“You coming?”</p><p>He sighed and came forward, settling where she’d indicated, grunting and growling the entire way down. Hordak looked at her expectantly and she swept a hair hand out over the horizon.</p><p>“Isn’t it beautiful?”</p><p>Hordak hummed noncommittally.</p><p>“I come up her sometimes to clear my head,” she continued. “When I can’t sleep or I’m stressed or I don’t feel good, y’know, that kind of thing, and I thought you might enjoy it too.”</p><p>Hordak looked out over the city but remained silent. That was okay though, she could do the talking for a bit if he needed her to.</p><p>“It’s quiet and nobody’s around to bother you and if you look over that way? You can see the desert from here. If the wind’s blowing just right, you can even smell some of the vegetation coming from beyond it too.”</p><p>“I hardly see the appeal of sitting in the cold and doing nothing.”</p><p>“Who said I don’t do things up here?”</p><p>“This does not seem an adequate work space.”</p><p>“Maybe, but I like how easy it is to think.” Entrapta leaned back on her hands and looked up at the night sky. “I really like to look at the moons as they drift by and watch the city lights wink in and out. Sometimes I imagine they’re stars and other times I think about how small everyone looks from here and how much smaller they must look from the moons which makes me wonder how tiny and unimportant my problems must seem from there.”</p><p>“Is that not lonely?” Hordak asked softly.</p><p>“Mmmmmmm, sometimes, I guess,” she shrugged. “But it kind of puts things in perspective and, honestly, I actually like being alone- it’s nice. Too much can be bad though. It’s easy to forget that you need other people when you’re alone <em> all </em>the time.”</p><p>Hordak looked down at his hands in his lap. “Mm.”</p><p>The city rumbled on below them, punctuated by the occasional beep of moving vehicles or the indiscernible shouting and laughter of people. A bug called shrilly somewhere nearby, rousing more who chirped and chorused in return.</p><p>A gentle breeze tugged at her uneven bangs and she rolled her head to the side with it, studying the man next to her.</p><p>He seemed so...deflated. Smaller than usual, even with his armor on, and lacking the quiet driven confidence he normally exuded. It reminded her of when he’d collapsed last month but he’d responded to his vulnerability then with prickly defiance whereas now? Now Hordak seemed almost like he’d given up.</p><p>Entrapta chewed at the inside of her cheek and looked away.</p><p>“I’m sorry we couldn’t get you back to your people,” she said softly, all hints of playful teasing gone.</p><p>“...it is hardly your fault.”</p><p>“Still.” She brought a pigtail up to rest on his shoulder. “You wanna talk about it?”</p><p>Hordak hesitated for long moment. </p><p>“I do not think you will understand.”</p><p>“Yeah, well,” She arched a brow at him and smirked. “You didn’t think I’d understand about portals either, and yet here we are.”</p><p>The corner of Hordak’s mouth quirked up briefly, but his ears dipped low and his shoulders drew in, not trying to shake her hair away so much as curling protectively.</p><p>“I...do not know how...or...if I have the words to describe it.”</p><p>“I’m terrible at picking out the right words.” She gently rubbed at his shoulder reassuringly, even if he likely couldn’t feel it through his armor. “Try anyway.”</p><p>“Most Etherians I have reacted negatively to the idea whenever I have attempted to describe it to them.”</p><p>“Good thing I’m not like most Etherians then, huh?”</p><p>Hordak bunched a small bit of his skirt in his hands, glancing away from her.</p><p>“What is...your opinion on...religion?”</p><p>“Ah, mm, yeah, I can see how you might have run into some trouble with that.”</p><p>“It has proven to be an unexpectedly unpopular topic.”</p><p>“Hordak, is…” She paused, drumming her fingers against the concrete. “Is the Galactic Horde a religious organization?”</p><p>“It...has been described that way by some, yes.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>That would certainly explain the untranslated documents she’d found in his digital archives.</p><p>They were weighty, substantial things filled with dense text written in a flowing hand, wrapping around occasional illustrations of a large man with long white hair surrounded in varying ways by smaller individuals in white, all of it outlined in exceptionally attractive geometric filigree. They were such beautiful documents, so unlike anything else Hordak himself had written or brought with him on his ship, but she’d never really gotten around to asking him about them. </p><p>The one time Imp had spotted her looking at them he’d acted rather perturbed and refused to answer her questions. His reaction had confused her so much at the time, but it made a great deal more sense why now if they truly were religious texts.</p><p>She drew back her hair and looked up at one of the micro moons hanging in the sky above them, humming softly as she considered. </p><p>“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t skeptical, because I definitely am, but I can understand its appeal too.”</p><p>“You...do?” Hordak looked her way, brows drawing together.</p><p>“Sure!” </p><p>“Others have told me it is a thing for imbeciles and gullible idiots.”</p><p>“Yikes- that’s pretty harsh.” </p><p>Hordak growled softly in agreement and looked back at his hands.</p><p>“Well,” she continued. “Honestly? Religion always kind of struck me as something for people who are lonely and hurting and looking for the kind of comfort or security they can’t find in their daily life. I can relate to that so, even though I’ve always had a hard time believing in it myself, I still tried it out to see if maybe it’d work for me.”</p><p>“You tried to be religious?” Hordak’s eyebrows drew together and his head tilted in disbelief. “<em>You </em>?”</p><p>She grinned up at him. “Heh, yeah, it’s a strange idea, coming from me, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I admit it is…difficult to picture you praying or in meditation.”</p><p>“Bleh, meditation is the <em> worst</em>.” Entrapta stuck out her tongue and giggled.</p><p>Hordak’s expression softened and a warmth spread through her when he huffed in amusement.</p><p>“You know how my memory’s not really all that great and how, like, I’ll either remember every last thing about something down to the tiniest detail <em> or </em> I’ll just have absolutely <em> no clue </em> what someone’s referring to until they’re halfway through talking about it?”</p><p>Hordak smiled affectionately.</p><p>“I am familiar.”</p><p>“Well, there was this pretty awful stretch of my life, maybe three, four years? Something like that,” she waved a hand dismissively and leaned back to rest her weight on her elbows. “Anyway, I mostly don’t remember anything from then, just facts I was taught in my lessons and stories other people told me that sort of have these hazy mental pictures to go with them. I first started making audio recordings towards the end of that period as a way to cope but, looking back, I definitely do <em> not </em>remember saying any of those things even though it’s clearly me.”</p><p>“What would cause such a horrific thing?”</p><p>“My parents died.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“It was kind of a...there were some things about it that were- it’s-” She sighed in frustration. “...complicated. I’ll tell you about it some other time. Anyway, my point is, one of the few things I do remember from then was trying out a religion that was kind of popular in the area at the time. It didn’t really work out for me, I just couldn’t make it feel right and everything their books said felt empty and hollow.” </p><p>“That is...unfortunate.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I was still a kid and, given some other circumstances, it was probably for the best.” She swung her feet idly. “So, then, quite a few years later after I’d grown up and all that, I had this <em> really </em>nasty break up that stung waaaay more than I wanted to admit at the time and I tried again with a different religion.” </p><p>She shrugged and chuckled. “Obviously that didn’t stick either.”</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>“Well, I started thinking about <em> why </em>it hadn’t worked and what I’d even wanted from religion in the first place. Like I said, I’ve never really believed in mystical beings who direct my life and judge my actions, but I eventually realized I’d tried anyway because I just reeeeeally wanted the comfort of someone looking out for me and guiding me. I wanted someone, even if I never knew who they were, to be invested in my happiness and to have some kind of reassurance that all the awful things I’d been through were for a reason and not just because of some really bad luck or random chance.”</p><p>Hordak posture shifted, curling in once more. “To give your life purpose.”</p><p><em> Interesting</em>.</p><p>“Sure. Problem was, once I’d started thinking about what kind of people those gods would be like, I struggled with the whole thing even more.”</p><p>“How do you mean?” Hordak’s gaze was fixed out over the cityline but his head tilted in confusion nonetheless.</p><p>“I concluded that if gods were real, then they could only be one of two kinds: caring and uncaring.”</p><p>“Un...caring? I do not follow.”</p><p>“As far as I could figure, an uncaring god might be a being that created us or started life in the universe or however you want to view it, but they aren’t even aware we exist. There’s even a good chance our being alive might have been an accident or unintended side effect of something else they were doing.”</p><p>“Alright, but what if they <em> are </em>aware?”</p><p>“Then they don’t really seem to be all that invested in any of us personally. I dunno, maybe we’re each just a passing curiosity to them or maybe they only care about the biggest picture and people are just the tiny, self-replicating machine cogs that keep the giant system they’re actually following running.”</p><p>“That seems rather unhelpful.”</p><p>“Right? Aware or not, that doesn’t feel like someone who’s worth my time or effort. Plus, if they don’t care about me personally then I doubt they’d give a damn if I said nice things about them or not.”</p><p>“That seems an accurate assessment.” Hordak nodded. “Clearly, a caring god is better, wouldn’t you agree? He would be wise and wish to see his subjects flourish and personally guide their lives accordingly.”</p><p>“You know, funny thing, I actually think that’s worse.”</p><p>Hordak frowned and twisted in his place to better face her. </p><p>“How? Such a god lives for the sake of his flock, healing their sickness and uplifting them from the misery of a cold, meaningless existence without him. He would reward their loyalty and teach them to avoid mistakes that would cause them suffering.”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow at him. His ears had pinned back up in agitation and she could see a shadow of her stubborn partner peaking through the malaise that had been storming around him.</p><p><em> Bingo</em>.</p><p>“Sure,” she shrugged, hair hands splaying out for emphasis. “It <em> sounds </em>better, especially like that, except if they care about their followers so much, then why would they allow them to feel pain and unhappiness in the first place?”</p><p>“Perhaps this god wishes to test their creations and verify they are worthy and deserving of the gifts they have been given. Maybe he wishes for them to appreciate life properly and not take it for granted.”</p><p>“But is it really necessary that they make their subjects suffer just to check something like that? If they’re all knowing, then wouldn’t they already be able to tell? And if they’re all powerful, can’t they find some other way to ensure people show them gratitude without them ever getting sick or hurt?”</p><p>“Sometimes cruelty is necessary. It is a means of growth and self-improvement.”</p><p>“Like?” she prompted.</p><p>“Like…” Hordak hesitated, glancing out over the city and gesturing towards one of the cadet buildings in the distance. “Soldiers in training. It is an uncomfortable process, but one that transforms their suffering into experiences that prepare them and make them stronger.” </p><p>"Sure, but why not just make their people perfect and fully realized from the outset? And if they genuinely are adamant about the self-growth thing, then why not come up with a kinder way to do it?"</p><p>“I-” Hordak hesitated. “I’m sure he’d have his reasons.”</p><p>“See, that’s the thing- the only kind of person I can imagine creating a creature for the sole purpose of suffering and proving themselves worthy of love would be a sick, twisted bastard.”</p><p>“T-that is-!” Hordak flushed and sputtered.</p><p>“Hear me out-” Entrapta brought up a hair hand soothingly. “I think you’re right: pain and suffering <em> can </em> be useful and it <em> can </em>make a person bond with others and become stronger and more self-sufficient or capable. Pain is an important part of our senses and does as much, or more, as our eyes or ears to inform us about the world.” </p><p>Hordak squinted at her suspiciously. “However?”</p><p>“<em>However</em>, it’s one thing to have people work for their food and water and feel pain as a part of their environmental interactions, but it’s an entirely different thing to guide them directly into horrible injuries or agonizing illnesses or senseless deaths. The idea that a deity would watch over a person’s every move and directly influence their daily life and would still make them experience terrifying things that haunt them for the rest of their lives suggests to me that this ‘caring’ god is actually a malicious, hateful individual who takes sadistic pleasure in the suffering of their creations.”</p><p>Hordak paled and bowed his head, eyes wide and hands slack in his lap.</p><p>She sat up and rested her hands between her legs, gripping the corner of the ledge and leaning  against the railing a little as she looked out.</p><p>“I create all kinds of robots, all the time, and I always want them to be happy and succeed. I know most of them aren’t sentient, let alone have a concept of personhood, and a lot of them are really just complex toys, but I still try to think about what’s best for them when I can. How awful would it be if I brought a complex, self-aware AI into the would just so I could knowingly deny it the things they need? Who would that help?”</p><p>She gently squeezed Hordak’s knee with a lock of hair when he didn’t respond.</p><p>“You don’t withhold food or comfort from Imp until he’s proven he’s worth having those things, right?”</p><p>Hordak flinched, face curling into an expression of disgust. “Of course not! How barbaric.”</p><p>“Even when he’s being an awful brat?”</p><p>“It is my <em> responsibility </em>to ensure he receives appropriate care, irregardless of his behavior.”</p><p>“And you’d still look after him even if he stopped being helpful? If taking care of him became really burdensome and exhausting?”</p><p>“Yes! Why would you suggest such an obscene thing?”</p><p>“Because that’s my point. It’s only natural for people to want to seek out the approval and love of their progenitor, but nobody <em> asks </em> to be created. A person’s worth or right to exist shouldn’t be hinged on something as subjective and fluid as another individual’s personal whims.”</p><p>Hordak considered her for a long moment, hands curling and uncurling reflexively.</p><p>“Entrapta, I am not an immortal being.” He brought a hand up to his chest for emphasis. “<em> I </em> am flawed and shortsighted and incapable of determining the worth of another. I am not the one who makes those choices. Of <em> course </em>I would care for Imp, no matter his cost-benefit value, and I will continue to do so because it is the right thing for someone like me to do. A god is not beholden to these same expectations and, whatever choice he makes, it is our job to accept that, even if we do not understand or like it. He knows better than us.”</p><p>“Mmmm,” she resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose at him. “Thing is, if I had to choose between a caring god and you to make those judgements, I’d pick you in a heartbeat.”</p><p>Hordak’s eyebrows shot up and he pulled back slightly. </p><p>“See,” she continued. “I’ve never been able to reconcile with the idea that someone personally designed and created me, had complete control over my life and fate, and still wouldn’t want to protect me. You said it yourself- its second nature to you and me to do that for Imp and Emily, so why should that be any different for a god that cares?”</p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>“Why would someone that supposedly loves me and has my best interests at heart force me to watch my parents be killed? And why would they give me just enough power, wealth, and privilege to live a charmed life but also make me weird enough that most people can’t stand to spend longer than an hour around me?”</p><p>“Well...I...um…”</p><p>“I don’t know about you, but none of that feels like it’s necessary to make me into a good person. Instead, it feels like someone’s laughing at a cruel joke and I’m the punchline.” She shrugged and smiled bitterly. “I think I’d rather face the cold nothingness of the universe and my insignificance within it than waste my time praising and being subjected to the whims of a cosmic sadist.”</p><p>She quietly watched Hordak as he grimaced and looked down at his lap once more. His ears were dipped low and he brought his hands together, interlacing his fingers and idly rubbing one of his thumbs against the back of the other. </p><p>“What,” he paused and swallowed. “What about the people who <em> do </em>believe in a higher power?”</p><p>Entrapta frowned, noting how he was pointedly not looking at her.</p><p>“Then that’s what they believe and it’s not hurting me,” she said cautiously.</p><p>“But what if their god is caring but malicious? What happens to them?”</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>Way too many things about Hordak were suddenly making far too much sense. Was that what those texts were about? Was the guy with the long hair Horde Prime?</p><p>Maybe it was a good thing after all that the portal would never work; she was starting to feel like the phenomenon that bound Etheria to Despondos had protected them from something horrible without her even realizing it.</p><p>“I guess…” she rubbed at her neck, puzzling over the situation. What was the right thing to say? “I suppose it kind of...depends? I mean, as far as we know, none of any of theses kinds of gods are actually, physically here. If they do exist, there’s no evidence to suggest they can reach us, so…”</p><p>Hordak seemed to shrink even more. </p><p>Damn it, not that way.</p><p>“Okay, no, let’s think of it this way- if believing and worshiping in a god, even if it’s a malicious or harmful one, makes a person happy, then isn’t that probably still okay?” </p><p>Seeing Hordak’s ears twitch upwards a fraction, she trundled on. </p><p>“Better yet, if the god doesn’t do anything helpful themself and the religion on its own doesn’t harm the believer, but the act of worshiping makes the person feel better or brings them into contact with other people they enjoy, that’s likely still a good thing, right?”</p><p>Hordak’s grip tightened and he took a shuddering breath.</p><p>“What if it doesn’t make them happy?” he asked, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. “What if it’s isolating and makes them hate themself and question the kindness of people who’ve done more to help than the god ever has?”</p><p>Entrapta’s eyes widened and she stared at Hordak for several heartbeats, pushing down the nearly overwhelming urge to pull him close and smother him in affection while crying.</p><p>She opted instead to scoot closer to him, her leg brushing up against his. She fanned a pigtail across his back, ends gently curling around his shoulder and side and tugging him closer as she covered his fisted hands with one of her own.</p><p>“Then maybe they shouldn’t waste their time with something that makes them so miserable?” she suggested softly. “Maybe, instead, they should focus on the things that <em> do </em>make them happy and seek out the people who make life fulfilling?”</p><p>Hordak sniffed and brusquely pulled one of his hands away from hers to wipe at the tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. Taking a number of long, deep wavering breaths, he returned his hand to hers, cradling it between his larger palms.</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>He nodded, voice barely above a whisper. “I just have some things to think about.”</p><p>"Mm."</p><p>They sat for some time in companionable silence, watching the moons and the lights just as Entrapta had suggested while she rubbed soothing circles with her hair into every patch of Hordak’s skin she could reach and he absently manipulated her fingers in his own.</p><p>“I’m sorry I couldn’t show you the stars.”</p><p>She looked up at him in surprise, glad to hear his voice sounding steadier.</p><p>“Hordak,” she drew out his name with a tinge of admonishment. “If I hadn’t met you, I’d have never even known they weren’t just a fairytale.”</p><p>“Even so, that is hardly the same.”</p><p>“Maybe,” she replied, resting her head against his shoulder. “But you’ve already given me more than enough.”</p><p>“Perhaps,” he said, resting his head against hers and gently squeezing her hand. “But there can always be a little more.”</p>
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